I’ve been counseling marriages in crisis professionally for over 15 years and I am getting increasingly discouraged by what I see. Am I just getting jaded because I only see the bad side of marriage or are Christians as a whole becoming more and more selfish? I no longer see an attitude coming into marriage counseling of “we don’t know how this can work but we are willing to fight for our marriage.” Instead, I see two people completely dedicated to getting their own way. “I want him to be this way and then I will love him. Here is my list.” The other message I hear is, “Here’s my wife, change her, then I will be happy. If she would change things will be fine.”
Where have we gotten so far off as to stop examining the log in our own eye? Not seeing this happening anymore. Many are offended when I ask them “their part” in the demise of the marriage. They are practically insulted that I would even suggest they have any responsibility at all. I’ve had guys walk out and women weep in a puddle on the floor when I fail to budge with the question, “are you ready to own your stuff?” “It’s all him/her” is always the answer.
There you have it, folks. Marriage counseling is very discouraging these days. Not seeing anyone wanting to fight for the marriage itself or for the sake of their children. Everyone wants their own pound of flesh. I am thinking this is what our Savior came to destroy… the works of the enemy.