Dr. Trudy's career as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist has centered around providing marriage help to couples seeking to improve their relationships. She began her journey in Brief Intensive therapy for couples in 2005, dedicating countless hours in intensives to help couples achieve the victory they desire in their marriages.
Dr. Trudy is passionate about Christian counseling, particularly in improving individuals so they can contribute positively to their marriage relationship without relying on their spouse to heal deep emotional wounds.
As retirement approaches, Dr. Trudy invested nearly 100 hours creating an online version of her A'nesis marriage boot camps, which have supported many couples over the years. It is her prayer that Christian couples can view their marriages through the lens of relationship improvement, rather than seeing the marriage as 'the enemy' of their happiness.
The Love Language We Don't Talk About
It's the quiet act of someone choosing to work on themselves, not just for their own sake, but for the health of the relationship. It’s easy to say, 'That's just how I am' and expect others to accept our flaws and triggers as fixed parts of us. However, real love—deep, mature love—looks different. It’s about recognizing one's own wounds and patterns. Instead of placing that burden on their spouse, a person takes responsibility for their own healing, without expecting their spouse to heal them or accept it.
Dr. Trudy began examining reasons couples were having trouble in marriage, particularly through the lens of Christian counseling to provide effective marriage help and foster relationship improvement.
“Jesus himself said the “in Moses day, divorce was granted because of hardness of heart.” (Matthew 19:8NIV). ”
A state of hardened heart can be an outcome of waiting too long not going for help. When couples can only view each other in a negative state it is really difficult to make progress in the marriage counseling session.
Excerpt From
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
If a person comes from deep abandonment in their family of origin, they can have intense fear about attaching in a serious relationship. Unfortunately, this fear may not be exposed until after marriage. This is where Christian counseling can play a vital role in addressing underlying issues. As long as a person is in an uncommitted relationship, they may feel fine because they know they can 'escape' to feel safe. However, seeking marriage help through counseling can be crucial for relationship improvement, enabling couples to navigate their fears and build a healthier connection.
“The impact of sexual trauma or molestation on a future marriage can be extreme. Like attachment injries, the outcome of sexual trauma does not always show up until that person becomes "trapped" in a committed relationship.
Excerpt From
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
“85% of problems in marriage were brought into the marriage from the family of origin or pre-existing conditions. Once again there are several reasons couples begin their marriage with baggage.”
Excerpt From
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
“90% of teen boys will have viewed pornography by age 16. 70% of 16-18 year olds have viewed hard core pornography according to George Barna, a Christian statistical gathering group.”
“Exposure to pornography at an early age ignites brain chemicals earlier than an underdeveloped brain is capable of handling.
Excerpt From
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
“More often than not, our cultural break down has affected so many. Most couples are survivors of broken homes and have had very little examples of what a healthy marriage relationship looks like. Many spouses only know what they “don’t want.” ”
Excerpt From
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
“Some of the saddest cases of marriage reconciliation is when couples are on their second or third marriage. More often than not, spouses are still working out the hurt and pain from their past painful relationship failures, causing a struggle in their present marriage. ”
Excerpt From
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
Addictions sabotage progress in marriage counseling if healig for the heart hunger (root cause of addiction) isn't healed and handled separately from the marriage issue. The addiction will have more power in the session than the marriage relationship and causes lying and selfishness in the relationship.
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
While there isn't a lot of conflict in these marriages, the lack of crisis prevents couples from seeking help before it is too late. Sometimes it takes a drastic action like one spouse seeking their own healing before focusing on the marriage.
10 Reasons Marriage Counseling Might Not Work
Trudy Johnson
https://books.apple.com/us/book/10-reasons-marriage-counseling-might-not-work/id6744904528
“Unfortunately, our culture has completely been taken over by narcissism. Needless to say, selfishness is at the core of us all. When we are unable to see anyone else’s world but our own, our eyesight becomes quite near-sighted. The entitlement attitude bleeds into so many relationships. Many a person in a relationship suffers from the toxic waste of narcissism. Couples locked in this dynamic are going to have a hard time connecting on any level. ”
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