Trudy M. Johnson, MA, LMFT, CTSML
Certified Trauma Specialist – Master’s Level
3798 Asbury Lane | Murfreesboro, TN 37129
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Pastors’ Wives – Husbands Talking with Other Women

A common challenge for many wives of pastors is that women love to consult with their husbands.  While this is a natural outflow of “who he is” this situation has the potential for much harm.  I always like to err on the side of caution.  Even in innocence your husband can be set up by a needy woman to become a place of dependence for getting her emotional needs met.  A well-meaning pastor may “just want to help” but can easily get pulled into a monstrous entanglement if he is not careful.  A typical personality that would take advantage of his kindness also will not take lightly his abandonment of her once he starts being a place she depends upon to talk.

It would be very prudent for pastors to follow typical seminary training:  Never talk with a woman without a third party present.  Cell phone conversations are not acceptable.  If this woman needs his counsel, she should make an appointment to come to his office and he can talk with her with another person outside the room with the door open.  Sounds cold…but the hedges of protection simply must be put in place for this.  The ramifications just aren’t worth crossing these boundaries.



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