According to Dr. John Gottman, the average couple waits for six years of their marriage being in crisis before they go for therapy. What are you waiting for? More pain? More trauma?
85% of marriage problems are brought in from your family of origin
What is YOUR 85%?
The two most important components of marriage are commitment and communication. If you have commitment but no communication, you are heading for a “dead marriage.”
Is your communication based on reactivity? (Many times the source is pain from your family of origin.) Are you an external or internal communicator? (Do you need the bottom line to feel safe or do you need to use your words and talk through things before you feel safe?)
How do you change conflict into problem resolution? Learning to problem solve is the hardest challenge for marriages. Usually, the problem resolution ends off in conflict, not a win-win answer for both parties.
Is your marriage a “team” for God’s purposes?
What is your God-given redemptive gift? What is your spouse’s God-given redemptive gift? (Romans 12 gifts and callings) You may be trying to change your spouse’s God-given unique qualities! Learn your redemptive gifts as a couple so that your marriage can be a “team” for God’s Kingdom building purposes! Possess your birthright in your marriage!
Treating Marriage Counseling as Trauma Resolution
Has your communication style as a couple created attachment panic for you and your spouse? Through Trudy’s decade + of working with couples, she came to the realization that couples can actually get traumatized by their dysfunctional communication and styles of relating in their marriage relationship. Many times this communication reactivity can result in each party feeling completely traumatized and immobilized.
When an impossible marriage presents itself, Trudy treats the marriage counseling the same way she would launch head-on into trauma resolution for individuals. Sometimes couples can get triggered by the mere physical presence of their spouse! This creates additional attachment panic when couples start distancing their hearts to stay self-protected and safe.
Trudy uses Holy-Spirit led trauma resolution techniques to expose guarded hearts and attachment panic in relationships with couples. Talk therapy cannot get to the depth of these deep-seated relationship issues. This cutting-edge marriage counseling technique will be different than anything you’ve ever tried.
When couples can have new eyes to see each other’s attachment brokenness, great strides can be made to rebuild the marriage.
How things work at the A’nesis Intensive Marriage Retreat
You are required to take the Gottman Relationship Check-up BEFORE you attend your intensive. This evaluation will take you 60-90 minutes to complete. The Gottman Relationship Checkup not only automatically scores a couple’s strengths and challenges, but takes years off the time required to make headway in the counseling process. The cost for you as a couple is $29.00.
YOU MAY NOT ATTEND THE RETREAT IF THIS PIECE OF THE INTENSIVE IS NOT COMPLETED BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL.
Fully HIPAA compliant, the questionnaire consists of 480 questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more.
This relationship assessment relies on intensive, detailed, and evidence-based information on why relationships succeed or fail. Developed from over 40 years of scientific research by Dr. John Gottman, this relationship assessment tool relies on intensive, detailed, and evidence-based information on why relationships succeed or fail.
Click Here for a few Frequently Asked Questions about the Gottman Relationship Evaluation.
How does the Marriage Intensive Work?
You arrive for your intensive marriage retreat in time to begin your first season on Tuesday of the week of your intensive, starting at 1:30PM. This session lasts for three hours.
The remainder of your four days at the retreat you meet from 9:00-12:00PM. Saturday, the last day we will be finished by 12:00PM if you need to schedule your return flight home for that day.
Ideally, it would be great if you have the luxury of spending Saturday night also to have a night of relaxation and fun before returning home on Sunday. If you stay the extra night you pay an extra $70.00 for lodging, but you can make that decision later during the week if need be.
Costs and Other details
The cost for the intensive package is $2860.00.* This includes 15 hours of face-to-face counseling with Trudy together as a couple (NO GROUP!) and four nights lodging in the retreat house located on the property.
The Asbury Retreat house (Click Here to view it) is a remodeled house that has two separate apartments, each with its own complete bath. It has a separate (fully equipped) kitchen from the apartment. Close to the kitchen is a washer and dryer.
If you prefer to stay somewhere else during your intensive, the cost for the counseling without the lodging is $2,580.00 for the five days.
* We take all forms of credit cards and if you use a credit card there will be two separate billings on your credit card statement, one for the intensive and one for the lodging. If you give us a check for the counseling portion there is a $50.00 reduced rate.
Costs that are not covered for your intensive retreat include travel to and from Murfreesboro, TN, food, incidentals, rental car and/or Uber/Lyft charges.
The closest shopping (Walmart) is 1.6 miles from the Retreat location. However, you would plan on having an Uber ride because there is no walking trail provision and it is a busy interstate.
Four Day Intensive Possibilities
Many couples have a hard time getting away for the five-day program. In light of this on a case-by-case basis, Trudy does accept some couples into the program that still meet for 15 hours but in a four-day timeframe.
The 4-day program is VERY intense and marriages dealing with affairs, substance abuse or long-term destructive patterns do not fit the four-day format and should only be considered for more “normal” marriage counseling issues.
Do you offer marriage intensives in Phoenix, AZ?
Trudy meets with couples near Phoenix, AZ (Peoria) during the winter months of January through April. You choose your own lodging nearby and the costs for the intensive is $2,580.00.
Is this a Biblically-based program?
Trudy is a Level II Gottman-trained therapist and uses the Biblical Reference Guide for the Gottman Method so that all teachings for the process are Biblically sound.